DO'S AND DON'TS OF LOCKDOWN 2.0
With the world back indoors (some parts) and the pandemic numbers just killing it in Maharashtra right now (pun intended), it is important to reflect on Lockdown 2020 and come to terms with Lockdown 2021 a.k.a Lockdown 2.0 with fresh ideas. A rejuvenated attempt at wallowing in misery and pretending the world outside isn't crumbling.
Alright, let's be honest here. This was absolute shit! What was this? Am I drinking coffee or a fucking milk float?! Do not for once pretend you liked this. This has to go out. The only appealing thing was the way the milk was poured and how it mixed with the coffee in slo-mo edits. Other than that, this is a big NO-NO.
THE GORDON RAMSEY OF GHODBUNDER ROAD
If there was anything good that came out of last year was the fact that almost everyone wore a chef hat and brought with them a newfound vigour to cooking. I have never seen these many parcel services start from the comfort of my friends' kitchen. I personally know 7 different friends who started food businesses. I mean I don't think everyone should go that far....you know what? Fuck it. Start a food business. If not COVID, food poisoning should bring excitement this year.
It was a tough time for meatheads and iron hounds! But motivation like that never falters, they did find ways to find some pillar to hang on and buckets for dumbbells. This time if anything, the pandemic has taught us to lose hope. Give up. Go to Swiggy or Zomato (whoever reads this and wants to sponsor me maybe) and order that double cheese slathered pizza that you have wet dreams of. Workouts are out, they have to go. Bring in the cheese!
HOMEMADE ART AND JEWELLERY BUSINESSES
My mom and a couple of really good friends have started some cool stuff this past lockdown, therefore it isn't good for my health to talk smack about this. So this is obviously a good thing coming out! Go give some of them a look and support your friends and their art! This definitely stays in for Lockdown 2.0!
It is impossible to avoid this, it is inevitable. You have not asked for it but this has become a time to get closer to your parents albeit begrudgingly. Who knows? They may be cooler than you may think? I am trying to be positive here as tears run down my soul! My mom reads this.
REELS AND MORE REELS
Okay, honestly! How many times do I have to see you aesthetically place spoons and plates in order and make a wholesome quip about family and extended family time? I get it, you are a happy family! Having said that, I shall be making reels to promote this website!
CELEBRITY MOTIVATION AND BONHOMIE
Celebrities can fuck off for a bit. I mean I understand how difficult it is to have production shut down and not have attention 24/7 on you! It must be difficult to have a public health crisis steal your thunder! And Gal Gadot and friends, that "Imagine" video was absolute trash! No more peace-y song covers for the love of God!
JEAN-LUC PICARD SONNETS
For the uninitiated, the amazing Patrick Stewart had a whole lockdown period where he went on reciting amazing sonnets and it was one of the most wholesome and amazing things to come out of this lockdown. Bring it back! Please! Nothing like Captain Jean-Luc Picard belting some Shakespeare. We're here for it!
BILLY JOE ARMSTRONG AND SONG COVERS
Another possibly unknown endeavour, Billy Jor Armstrong of Green Day fame spent a lot of time in 2020 gracing us with amazing covers of hit songs that were just absolutely brilliant! If the pandemic is going to be doom and gloom furthermore, then a few more tunes would be fodder to the soul!
SHOW-TUNES AND MORE
There were some amazing shows and music covers that made the rounds this past lockdown and many artists (Indian and international) came with a lot of good material to keep the fans and the general public engaged while they sat at home.
As we prepare ourselves let's not forget there are more TikTok videos to be made, more chefs to be birthed, more tears to be shed and even more family time you did not ask for. I do not think any of us have spent this much time in such close quarters with our parents and going for Round 2? I feel like a boxer at a mismatched fight! But stretch out my friends! It is coming. Give up hope and let's dust off the Monopoly and Ludo groups all over again! FUCK.
Featured Image: https://in.pinterest.com/pin/47358233570463445/