• Rahul Mahesh

THE DREAM I DREAMT BEFORE MY TIME

I remember the expansive seas,

The joy of letting go, taking flight.

Unburdened by past mistakes,

Forgiven for the sins, seldom undone.

Forevermore I’d soar, spread across the vast horizons;

Watch the world beneath me, take siestas in the shadows.

The trees look greener from here,

The azure bounties of staying unchained.

For once, I’d sought nothing more,

My mind unfettered, my thoughts left untouched.

An arrow thus struck, a blow so deft;

I came shooting down, bloodied and inept.

What made me thus, I ponder quite often;

To have fallen benign and so thoughtlessly morose.

Happiness became a rarity, silent is my soul.

I find myself walking into vacant tracks,

Looking for the flash of light approaching from the tunnel.

Forgive me if I sound so sullen,

I’ve forgotten what it meant to be whole.

Rivers of crimson flow down my wrists,

The painful ecstasy of that penultimate breath.

I look no more to those monotonous expectations,

I look no more for a resurrection, or a forethought henceforth.

As my eyes opened I found myself floating amidst these winds,

I repose, only to realise I am now whole.

My mortal self lays cold upon the heath,

Untouched by these mortal agonies.

I made my way to the light,

Above the clouds lay my abode.

The thrills of mortality that once stifled my soul;

Insignificant now, the fanciful necessities of humanity.

I feel no pain thus, the quiet has never been so soothing;

I feel not the tremors of expectations,

I am numb, blissfully thus.

Leave me be, forgive me Father for my sins;

I only wished to soar, one last time I suppose.

To watch the sun hide behind the seas,

To watch the night-stars checkered across the mead.

Quiet down now hungry heart!

It won’t hurt anymore.

Motionless, cold and damp, is my mortal being;

The harrowing silences seem calming and less worrisome than before.

The darkness before the light, life left me;

Unshaken.

I made my way home;

Home to peaceful oblivion.

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